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Infrastructure $$$? Wait'll You Hear My Plan

Sketched cartoon of a rabbit emerging from a top hat. Art by Earle Levenstein.

You won't believe how simple.

I'll get right to it, folks.

Thing is, the highways—in terrible shape; terrible; I mean pot holes and all and bridges falling down and tunnels; water leaking in; bad; very bad; all that stuff—infrastructure we call it—an embarrassment, really; gotta be fixed.

But we're talking money; I mean, you can't believe how much; huge…and it seems, after running the numbers—well, can't have everything—I mean we just gave you a huge…incredible tax cut; huge; hard to believe isn't it? So it would be impossible, on top of that very big tax cut, to fix all the roads and bridges and the rest in the whole country at the same time; no way; right?

But, after a lot of figuring; days and nights; I came up with a beautiful plan; just beautiful…no magic: simple, Genius, really.

First; nobody lays a hand on your huge tax breaks; guaranteed; nobody touches those; not a penny. OK?

But that other part—pot-holed highways, sagging bridges, leaky tunnels—that's really up to your state; you know, New York, Oklahoma, Oregon to figure out. I mean, fair's fair, right? I mean that's where those highways and bridges and tunnels are, right? I mean, used every day, right?

So…it's simple.

Every single state pitches in; you know; like New Jersey, North Carolina…Florida; Ohio; all fifty states. Even Alaska…and Oregon…and I don't have to name them all. Right?

What they need to do is very simple: just add a few more bucks to the state taxes you—that's everyone; each of you…maybe even me—pay every year to the state anyway, you know? on pretty much everything, right?

And when every state does it…adds a few bucks…well, I mean that's fifty states, right? Just put all that money together; add it all up and—simple!—we have the money to fix all those holes in the road and the rest of that mess with no problem at all.

Amazing, isn't it? Just a few extra bucks…added to your state taxes, see? Simple. Few bucks, you know?

And a few extra bucks shouldn't be a big deal, you know? I mean considering the huge—really unbelievably huge tax cut you're getting from the U.S of A., right? I mean, fair's fair, right?

Of course, your state has to have the guts to do it, you know?

I know, I know; there are people who'll say the government—that's us here in D.C.—we're just a bunch of greedy scammers; that the biggies get the biggie bucks and regular people get to pay for all the infrastructure; that I'm a liar that we're all liars; that it's a big fake show.

Well, what I say is, sour grapes.

People like that—whiners, I call them—don't know what they're talking about, you know? Trust me. They're not real Americans…willing to chip in for…bridges, tunnels…the works—to keep America great…right?

And besides, here you sit with a huge—historic, actually; you can check it out—enormous tax cut; from us here in D.C. and the few bucks you'll give to your state will be like nothing, you know? plenty left for you and your wonderful family and house and dogs and things…and just think all those broken down bridges and stuff—fixed; like new…right?

Believe me; it's going to be great—better than ever…you'll be thrilled; delighted that I came up with this plan; I know you will.

And when you look around and see how wonderful everything is… you'll want to sing God Bless America—right?

I mean, if you know the words.

I've got tears in my eyes already.

#infrastructure #taxes #government

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