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  • Earle Levenstein

Yesterday Was; Today Is; Tomorrow Will Be.



Simple, right?

Past, present and future.

What's the big deal, eh?

Well, I'll tell you; maybe easy for you, but I still work on it.

Not the actual time; or being unable to tell the difference between night and day. Or what day of the week it is. That's the easy part. It's my experience of time. Broader. Not experienced as separate pieces; acts; moments. But as feelings; thoughts; images; concepts; speculations that don't have a beginning or an end.

They're not placed in time. No beginning and no end. They're a flow.

So that for me, the Here and Now definition; the instruction to be In The Moment; to be Present; is challenging. I have to do a literal grounding exercise; translate, coordinate the specific thought or feeling I’m having in my Inner World, with the Outer one in which I live. Weird; and can be unsettling—I'm understating—at times; like waking from a deep sleep and reconnecting with reality.

For me, the process is closely related to invention; to creativity; imagination. Difficult, maybe impossible for me all my life—from childhood on—to answer when someone looking at a cartoon of mine, or a drawing; or reading a story; Where do you get those ideas?

And I do have a suspicion—more than a suspicion I'd say—that it very well could be a part of Migraine; not the affliction but the imagination; that part of Migraine dramatically expressed as a deja vu. In that case it's a step or two too far into the creepy part of Migraine for me; but I think you can see how the Migraine iterations extend far and wide; and for certain, the strong connection I'm absolutely convinced Migraine has to expressions of emotion.

So, if I were being charitable to an affliction that is far from fun all the time, I'd have to acknowledge how it helps me come up with some creative material that I'm delighted to see. And I'm happy to credit—weird as it might seem—a sometimes marginally unbearable presence in my life.

Well, beggars—or Migraineurs—can't be choosers.

Might as well love it.

Can’t leave it.


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